Holding It All Together (and Learning to Put Myself in the Picture Too)

I’ve not been very well so far this year, and it has been a real reminder that I need to take things slower, even more than usual, and work with the seasons in a deeper, more honest way.

If I’m really honest, this season has been a balancing act.

I’ve been juggling family life, daily college lifts, older relatives’ hospital appointments, my own health appointments, and all the moving parts that come with running a business and trying to keep life ticking along. You know the sort of thing… the invisible list that never quite leaves your head, even when you’re supposedly “resting”.

(Which, in my case, can sometimes look like sitting down with a tea and then immediately remembering 14 things I forgot to do.)

And somewhere in all of that, I realised something important:

I have been “holding it together” for everyone else for so long that I forgot to really take time for myself.

The strange thing is, I thought I was taking care of myself.

I thought I was doing enough.

But sometimes there’s a difference between doing a few self-care things and truly allowing ourselves to rest, receive support, and heal.

And if you love what you do (as I do), that can be one of the hardest things of all.

Because when your work is meaningful, heart-led and connected to people you genuinely care about, it can be very hard to stop.
There’s always one more message to send, one more thing to organise, one more person to support, one more idea to bring to life.

It’s a beautiful flaw, really… but still a flaw.

The healing support I’ve been leaning into

I’ve been squeezing in self-care where I can, and I’m so grateful for two wonderful women who have been helping me relax and heal:-

• Sound therapy with Joanne Bates from Warrior women hope.

• Reflexology with Blair from Blairdoylereflexology

Both have been amazing.

Sometimes, when life is heavy, it’s not about doing something dramatic. It’s about allowing yourself to be held for a moment. To soften. To breathe. To let your nervous system catch up.

That has been a lesson for me this year.

(And a reminder that “pushing through” is not actually a personality trait I need to keep polishing.)

Running a business while holding family life together is no small thing

It is tough to run your own business and manage, balance, and hold things together for your family and yourself.

And I know so many women in my world are doing exactly that.

Supporting children (whatever age they are), partners, older relatives, clients, communities… and often carrying the emotional load too.

On a separate note — I heard something on a podcast this week that made me stop in my tracks: our young adults are now often described as being in adolescence until around 32, because that’s when the brain is considered fully developed.

I’d also read an article about this a few weeks ago, and honestly… it made so much sense.

So no wonder, as mums, many of us still feel like we’re “holding the fort” for years and years.

Which also explains why we can still be problem-solving for our grown-up children while trying to remember where we put our glasses.

Source - BBC

Are you really taking care of yourself?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself.

Not just:

• Have I had a cup of tea?

• Did I sit down for five minutes?

• Have I ticked off the wellness list?

But really:

• Am I allowing myself support?

• Am I asking for help?

• Am I resting before I hit the wall, not after?

• Am I making space for me, not just fitting myself into the gaps?

If I’m honest, asking for help has not come naturally to me.

Being brought up by a narcissistic mother taught me independence from a very early age, that feeling of“no one else is going to do it for me.”

That mindset kept me going for many years.

But it also made things harder than they needed to be.

I’ve had to learn (the hard way, as many of us do) that asking for help isnota sign of weakness.

It is a sign of strength.

It is wisdom.
It is self-respect.
It is trust.
It is healing.

You do not have to hold it all together alone

So if you’re reading this and feeling like you are the one holding everything together for everyone, including yourself, I want you to know:

I understand.

And I also want to remind you:

You do not have to carry it all on your own.

This is one of the reasons I care so deeply about community.

My mentoring clients and my Netwalking communities are not just part of my work, they are part of my support network too. These amazing women get it. They understand the journey, the emotional load, the business pressure, the family responsibilities, the hopes, the exhaustion, the courage it takes to keep going.

Without this community in my life, things would feel even tougher.

Our Netwalks are not just about business.

They are a place to breathe.
To be seen.
To feel less alone.
To remember who you are.
To feel that sense of belonging that so many women quietly crave.

A place where other women really do understand how challenging life can be, and where you don’t have to explain every part of it.

And sometimes, if we’re lucky, a place where fresh air, honest conversation and a muddy path can do more than another hour staring at a screen.

A gentle question for you

So I’ll leave you with this:

What are you doing to really take care of yourself right now?

Not the polished answer.
Not the “I’m fine” answer.
The real one.

And if the answer is“not enough”, please know there is no shame in that.

Just a gentle invitation to begin again.

One breath.
One walk.
One honest conversation.
One appointment booked.
One asks for help.

That still counts.

And if you need a place to feel supported while you navigate it all, we’re here.

With muddy boots, warm hearts, and probably a flask somewhere nearby.

Andrea x